Thursday, 9 February 2017

Made You Think 101: Faith In Humanity

Every time I create a blog post, I vouch that I will post more often but still I don't. I don't like to feel as though I am making excuses but honestly I don't like to feel forced in doing so, so I just don't. But this post isn't about addressing my lack of posting, so let's cut to the chase.

They say God works in mysterious ways and I am the type of person who has to see it to believe it and I have been leaning towards the non-believer side for quite some time now.
But this isn't just because of lack of proof but just in a general attempt to detach myself from the belief system that I was brought up with in the attempts of finding my own purpose and truths.
So I have been sceptical, questioning everything and slightly heading in the direction of an atheist.

On Sunday, Feb 5th, I did something out of the ordinary that I haven't done for a long while.

I posted a somewhat personal status on Facebook!

Prior to posting it, I really don't recall what was going through my mind but once I hit that post button, I instantly felt the need to delete it. The only thing that stopped me was a voice in my head saying "you can't do everything on your own, sometimes you need help". Though it wasn't a cray for help. I wasn't really looking for a response to the post but I only kept it posted because of that voice in the back of my head.
To my surprise, I received a couple messages because of that post. And I ended up having a Tarot reading by Namz (Facebook Page). It was weird because my post hinted at my need to gain some form of clarity and answers in my life, so when I was going through the Tarot reading with Namz, I was close to tears because everything that she said was on point. A Tarot reading isn't something that I would just seek out on a regular day but this wasn't a regular day and I have been seeking answers, searching for myself and my purpose for some time now, so I jumped at the opportunity. If you need some reassurance or even doing some self seeking as I am, you should definitely check her out, I linked her Facebook page above.
In another message, I also had someone reassure me that I need to seek help and drew on their own personal experiences, which I found so touching. I really appreciated that.

Today, Thursday, Feb 9th, my day started out by being able to lay out all my skills on the table and talk about me, what I can do and ideas I had. I felt that it was a long overdue talk, and being able to share the part of me that I tend to keep confined to the box of my gallery decorated bedroom was just an amazing feeling. And to also be told that my work is amazing, I felt like the kid I was when I use to go to the ice-cream shop on a Sunday. A brick fell off of my shoulder.
But as awesome as the day began, it went through a grey area, as things do before I was completely at lost for words.

This is where my faith was restored in humanity.

To keep it short and sweet, accompanied by my sister, we were trying to get from A to B. We managed to get part way but realised the final destination was not as easy accessible as we thought. So, I approached a lady and asked for directions, in which she began telling me and pointing out but she stopped herself and said "I'll just drop you". *Jaw hits the floor* I had to check and double check that I was hearing right and I asked and re-asked if she was sure.
This lady was God fearing, due to how she spoke it was as clear as day that she was a strong believer. She actually said that God told her to.
My thing is this, my relationship with God has been borderline non-existent for ages now. And since that reading, I feel as though signs are dropping everywhere. But let me stress this, in no way shape nor form did the reading touch upon anything to do with God. What she did say was "you are coming into the essence of who you are" and whilst I believe there is a God, I don't agree with many of the teachings in the guide book (Bible). I just know that the events of today did not happen for no reason. That lady might well have been an angel in disguise and as cliche as this may sound, I was touched my the embrace of an angel. *Butter melts*

My faith in humanity has somewhat been restored. As I sit here writing this I keep going over what actually happened in my head. We even offered to give her gas money but she refused. All she asked was that we prayed for her niece. I really cannot remember the last time I got down on my knees but tonight will not be a night where my knees don't kiss the floor. And if you are reading this, please, I ask you to pray for this lady's niece, pray that she returns to good health and that God continues to watch over her and her family. I as well as she, would very much appreciate it.

I can say that after today, I need to really sit and evaluate my beliefs because I have been presented with the proof. I need to have more faith not just in myself, but in God and the universe. I took a step, so the universe took a step too, pretty soon we will be engulfed in a tango and I do like to move. *cheesy grin*

This just goes to show that as evil as the world seems to be, there is that percent of good which outweighs all.

And even after writing all that you just read, can you believe…

I am still lost for words.

Note: To all my readers, continue to grow and seek your truths. Thank you for reading and love always. Tanny x