Sunday, 1 January 2017

No U-Turns Please… 2017!!!!!!!

Before most blog posts, I usually have an idea about what I want to write about. Then I will start writing and allow the words to take their course, concluding with an overall message.
But, right now I feel like I have so much to say that I don't even know where to begin.

So, 2016…
I am calling it the year of death… Death was highlighted across the year, it was so prevalent, it was almost unreal. I mean people die every year unfortunately, but I felt like so much more people died this year. So many disasters, bombings, shootings, you name it (no pun intended). And so many famous people died as well.

2016 is also the year that anything and everything happened. If you didn't have a moment where you literally said these words to yourself "OMG! What next?", then I will actually find it hard to believe you.
It seemed to be the year where the unimaginable and impossible sneaked up and slapped us in our faces, like, 'Yeah, I just did become reality and it turns out I was possible', you know what I mean?
It was a crazy year and I'm pretty sure most, if not everyone can attest to that in some way, shape or form.

But for me…

My oh my…

2016 was an emotional rollercoaster. I don't think I have ever cried so much, been to the hospital so much or felt so suicidal in my life. I felt like I was going to break. I think my lowest was when, I found myself walking in the road towards on coming traffic. I think an inner voice told me to get out the road because I was not listening to my mind.
It was that deep.

BUT!

I have learnt a lot in 2016, so much about myself and I still have so much more to learn.
I stepped away from a lot of people to be honest, not because they did anything wrong but because I have been trying to figure myself out. I kept all my problems to myself and fought battles no one even knew existed in my life. Sometimes that is the best way to be.
I may have hurt a few people along the way but that was never my intention. Tension has been running high and my patience was dangerously low.

The one thing that I desperately wanted to change in 2016 was where I work, I wanted to be in a different job but that blessing has not found me as yet. So I will continue being a robot until I have a chance to be working in a environment that allows me to utilise my creativity.

It was not an all bad year, the highlight for me was definitely everything surrounding the Gallery 37 Poetry Camp that I did. I met some incredibly talented people and felt like I belonged in a place that emits so much creative and productive energy. So, I am thankful that I got to be a part of that.
I also did a lot of painting and writing last year. Again, being able to keep that creative side of me alive has been the one thing that has kept me somewhat afloat.

Now you… yes you… 2017…
I am a little afraid to say I am ready but I feel somewhat prepared.
I feel positive, I have started started the year off in good vibes and I hope to carry this throughout 2017 and years to come.

Note: I wish you all a prosperous 2017, please continue to believe in yourselves and strive to be the best versions of you. Love you all and thank you, for all of your continued support. Tanny x