Made You Think 101: Battles
There is nothing worse than when you put your all into fighting to have someone or something stay in your life, only to realise that you are far better of without them or it.
We have to look far ahead and analyse how that battle will be beneficial to our lives.
These battles come in any shape, size or form. For example, you could be fighting to keep what you think is the love of your life in your life, you could be fighting a health condition or you could be fighting your conscience. We all go through different type of battles.
So how do you know which ones are worth fighting for?
Recently, I went through this period in my life where I felt like I needed to hang on to someone. The thought of letting that person go outweighed everything else. So, I made up my mind to fight and keep fighting. Until one day I asked myself, what exactly am I fighting for? I wasn't gaining anything, my life wouldn't have been any better. So what was the point?
The truth hit me like a ton of bricks, because the truth is, there was no point. There was no point wasting my time and energy. That person's time had expired in my life. I was meant to move on but I kept dwelling and allowing myself to fall back every time I took a step forward. I felt like I was just trapped in this segment of my life, it was a tormenting cycle, and I wanted out but there was that annoying part of me that wanted me to stay there.
This was my battle…
I fought with me. I fought with myself. And I fought with I.
And I had one aim, and that was to lose to win.
I wanted to lose that part of my life, in order to winningly move forward.
Leave it as a 'look back and learn' rather than a 'why am I still here?' moment.
So, I did just that. I won the fight to lose that part of my life.
I won the fight to have a clear conscience and a calm heart. I won me, myself and I.
The battle was worth it. Cause, now it's a 'look back and learn' moment. Never will I allow myself to get to the stage where I have to fight against myself so much again.
The battles you have with yourself are possibly by far the hardest. You will not know you have won until you see a change in the outcome. And whilst you are fighting these battles with yourself you are convincing part of yourself that you are right yet another part of you feels so wrong.
This was the choice I had to make. I was going with the part of me that felt right but nothing was turning out right. So I chose to go with the part of me that felt wrong, and because I had so much faith in the part that felt right; coming to terms with the fact that the part that felt right was actually the wrong part was hard for me. I couldn't understand how it felt so right but everything was going the opposite way to how it felt.
Sometimes, the battles that have the best outcomes for us are the ones we don't want to fight but we are forced to because the ones we chose to fight weren't giving us the results we wanted or needed.
Normally, I'm the 'go with the flow' type of person but some flows are off-beat and are not to be gone with, that situation was one of those off-beat flows.
I'm glad that I've left it alone now.
Now the battle is to keep choosing what is actually worth fighting for.
Note: Hope you are well, my awesome readers. Thanks for reading. Much love, Tanny xx