Friday, 22 January 2016

Today I Hid!

Today I hid.

I hid from the world because I just couldn't face it. I turned off my phone, laid on my bed and tried to  force myself to sleep just to ease my mind a bit. I didn't want to think, I just wanted my mind to rest.
I couldn't face people, the scrutinising eyes, the fake smiles and the small conversations.
Today was a day that I just couldn't perform and uphold the facade that I usually do.
So I hid.

Because I just wasn't strong enough to face anything.

And that is okay.

It is not everyday that we are able to be strong, sometimes we have to fall in order to be reminded why we have to get back up. Sometimes we have to re-establish or re-discover what it is that is keeping us going.

And whilst I haven't re-established or re-discovered what that is, I definitely feel as though I should re-evaluate certain areas of my life.

Something has got to give.

Today was needed! As reminder that deep breaths go a long way and time out is crucial to really look at oneself.
I have been telling myself that something has got to give for a while now without doing anything about it. Well today I had what some might call an 'epiphany'. And something has really got to give.

I shouldn't be hiding from the world, I should be out there exploring and seeking new ways of fulfilment.
I shouldn't have to fake smiles and engage in pointless small talk. I should be caught in generous embraces and be held in deep, insightful discussions.

But let's put today behind us. Tomorrow is a blank canvas and I needed today as an inspiration for many more tomorrows.

So yes, I hid, but I also decided to keep going.

Notes: A song that just came to mind whilst writing this... Donnie McClurkin- We Fall Down, But We Get Up! Enjoy. Tanny xx

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