Letting You Into My Thoughts (As Usual)
So it's been a while, a long while. I feel like I say this on more or less every post because I leave it so long to post. (I need to brush up on my consistency, I know, I know)
First I want to say, THANK YOU to those who still visit my blog. I'm actually surprised that people still do but very grateful as well. So a massive thank you to you all.
Now on to the juicy bits... where should I start...
Life is great I guess, because I am alive and well so I'm thankful for that. Although I have a mental battle going on at the moment but otherwise I'm good. Hope you and yours (if you have a yours) are too. Everything has just been crazy lately. You could say the big bad world just slapped me in my face cause all I seem to do is work and work and work only for the money to be gone as soon as I get paid. Crazy but such is life and I can't even say it's life because I still have things fairly easy, if you know what I mean.
In the midst of it all, I'm still trying to figure myself out. I know in a few years time (God willing) I will look back and probably laugh at myself for being so confused but I'm just trying to focus on now. I say trying because that is all I can do, try.
Meanwhile, I keep seeing videos almost everyday of the 'Ice Bucket Challenge'. I mean it's all suppose to be in the name of charity but I can't help thinking that there is some deeper meaning behind it. I mean look at the popularity and out of all things charitable why is this one so viral. Most people are just being bandwagonists and are doing it for the fun of it without donating, which defeats the whole object. Pouring ice cold water on yourself does not solve anything, it shows that you did it but that is all. And where is the logic in that?! Anyways, I guess that's my opinion on that, I won't go any further.
I'm listening to PartyNextDoor- TBH whilst writing this. At this moment in time this song speaks volumes to me. You know when you want someone, but not so sure if that feeling is mutual; yet that person is sending you signals that has you thinking whether to act on them or not. I'm going through some type of Morse code, mix messages situation and I dislike when someone says something but their actions doesn't imitate their words. Yes, this is part of my confusion. It's one of those situations that you either wait out or make up your mind to just look the other way and I'm kind of in between waiting and turning my head. I'm so confused it's unreal.
I feel like I need to sit down and pour my heart out to someone. I mean, nowadays it's hard to find someone genuine who will listen and keep what's been said to themselves and who won't judge you as well. I mean, I don't mind what others have to say about me because my outer appearance can be a conversational topic, but I guess most people always judge books by their covers. But I still feel the need to just let it all out.
This is why I turned to my blog, I guess old habits never die. I just needed to jot down some of what is circulating in my brain for a minute. And whilst people may read this and find it useless, there is always one person that finds it useful and that is why I post; well when I have the time.
Life is hectic, time is limited and creativity is hiding in a closet at the moment. This seems like an excuse, but no excuse, nothing but the truth. Consistency is the key but I'm still trying to find the lock. Bare with me...
That's all for now though.
Note: Love you all. Tanny xx