Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Down With The Rocks (I'm Fine)©

If you ask me what is wrong and I tell you nothing
And you reply, why are you crying then, it must be somethin
It's not that I don't appreciate your sincerity
But there's no point telling you, when you can't help me
My tears represent weakness and at the moment I'm just weak
I know that you care, but you won’t understand how I feel
You see, my pain is my pain and your pain is yours
Even if you've experience something similar, you will never understand my hurt
I love that you genuinely care about my well being
But when I say I'm fine, even though it's not very convincing
It's because I'm tired of explaining
Words won't change anything
Unless it's words to the almighty father
But even those words seem a little far-fetched
I feel like giving up sometimes because I believe I’m a wretch
But with all my talents, a lot of people tell me I’m blessed
But why it is that life seems so pointless
I'm lying down with the rocks, I'm beyond depressed
And there goes another person, asking me if I’m ok
I'm so fed up of that question that I retaliate
By putting up my mental defence mechanism as my escape
And through gritted teeth, I reply, I'm Fine
Call me ungrateful, rude or anything else that comes to mind
But you don't understand how I feel so it's fine
I've reached a point where I'm even tired of crying
Because it's like every time I break down, I break off a piece of my mind
I'm at the lowest of the lowest, hugging on those rocks
And when I look up, I can't even see the top
So I turn my head and carry on looking down
And for some reason I can see deeper into the ground
Six feet deep to be concise
I can see myself lying lifeless with closed eyes
Is it wrong that the picture is so precise?
That it looks so vivid in my mind
I can even see the aftermath, playing like a movie in my head
The hurt and the grieving over the dead
But amongst the sad faces, I see a smile
On the face of someone who disowned a child
You are now free my friend, to walk miles upon miles
But my face will always be imprinted in your mind
So smile
I will smile with you for now
And even though these mental images seem so real
Life has a funny way of turning on its heels
And I’ll turn around every now and again to look for the top
But right now I'm getting comfortable with the rocks
And the second I see a chance I'm going to take it
Only then will I be able to say I'm fine without faking it

Note: I haven't got much to say, except that I couldn't choose a title. Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. Thanks, love you all. Tanny xx

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