Made You Think 101: Light Bulb Moment

Gosh, it's August already.
The phrase "Time waits on no man" is really starting to stand out in my everyday routines.
I just keep noticing how the days go by so fast and we are over half way through the year already.
I have heard some people discussing Christmas, yes Christmassss! 
They say the older you get the more you notice just how quickly time is travelling.

But then again, I have had thoughts were I've imagined life without time. No clocks, nothing, just life. 
How chaotic would that be since as we are used to building our lives around time, but what if time doesn't even exist in the first place?
For instance…
They say you can tell that some people existed in a different life before being present on Earth, because of how they act. So when they are among us, born as babies, we automatically place a date and time on their lives. But who is to tell that the spirit within that new child isn't hundreds or even thousands of years old?
I mean, I think I'm going off on a tangent here, but it is things like this that gets my thoughts aroused and lead them to wander off into some strange things.

Anyways… That aside.

This week has been a rather eye opening one for me. You know when you have a "light bulb" moment, well I've have plenty of moments similar to those this week.

The first one was when I contributing into helping an elderly man get help from the police. He wanted to get back home but wasn't a 100% sure of his address, in fact he only knew it was off a particular road. He had no ID on him or anything. It was kind of chilly, so loaned him my jacket until we could get him help.
I tried to get a chair for him to sit down on but couldn't. We were standing in town and he could barely walk. He had to be propped up with shoulder. 
In the end, I had to walk to the police station to seek out help.
Nowadays, people walk pass others or film them when they are in need of help but I found myself spring into action. And I'm normally shy in personality but all that left me when I was trying to get this elderly man help.
You just have to look on situations like these and imagine that if that was your Grandma or Grandad, wouldn't you want someone to help out too?

I guess it wasn't really a light bulb moment but something of the sort. It was just a moment where I realised how big of a heart I have and how much compassion I have towards others in need. Even though I've always known that, but I shocked myself at how quickly I just sprung into action. 

My other moment. I will talk about in another post.

Note: Remember to be considerate. Do to others as you would like done to you. Much love, Tanny xx

A Whole Lot

Boy have I been going through it over the past month or so…
Feels as though I am under attack in every possible direction of life.
It's hard to even begin to write when you don't even know what to write about, not wanting to let your vulnerability scream out but at the same time seeking comfort in being able to offload everything onto someone. Yeah, that is also hard when you feel as though there is no-one to offload on.

Where to start…
You, I wanted nothing more than to care for you and to be that rock that I felt you needed.
I wanted to share your passion but there was just something that wasn't quite right.
The bond was like an unfinished piece of artwork. You know when something doesn't feel right but you are not quite sure what it is. Then you start to get frustrated because all you want is for it to feel right, but at the same time you are scared to change anything because it looks pretty decent.
Yeah, that was it.
We needed to change something on our canvas.
Have more faith in the brush strokes, trust, yes trust, that it may not look like anything now but it would be beautiful in the end.
But it's just an unfinished piece now…
I had pieces of my own, I painted for us, each day I grew closer to revealing it to you.
Just another brush stroke, I told myself.
I added and took away strokes, left areas blank in hopes that maybe you'd fill them in… somehow
Ah well… who knows…
Life is about timing right and masterpieces require patience.

I have this thing where I honestly don't like to have bad vibes with anyone. I will try to make amends even if we part, I'd rather we part on a peaceful note than… bitterness. It will literally eat at me until I make some amends.
I mean, what is that? Is that being a good person or just an obsession of some kind? Who knows..

I'm becoming more and more unsocial. I don't feel the need to burden people with whatever this is I have going on. I run through scenarios in my head, me at a club or just a gathering and the more I do that, the more I withdraw.
I just don't want to hear any of the cliches because I am way past that. .. or maybe they hurt a little cause I already know. I just don't have a clue how...

You know what I'd like?
I'd like to just sit and talk and talk, and maybe laugh, with a whole lot of crying.
I'd like this without being judged, without opinions, without advice. All I'd want is for you to listen and when I'm through, only then I'd like you to offer your insight. Not your judgment. Just words of encouragement wrapped in a whole lot of wisdom.
And maybe a good ole bear hug.

But what is life, if you have to tell yourself to step back up onto that pavement?
The car was inching closer and closer.
Is this it? I mean will this change anything? What are the chances? Are you really out of options?
Closer…
Stop being silly… just step up… life isn't over yet.
Then comes the waterworks…

We all have choices right?
Gosh, this stupid concept keeps slapping me left, right and centre.*sense my frustration*
Choices… wanting what wants you but going with something totally different because the path is easier, clearer.
What is life?
What is life without love, happiness and passion?
We wish these things upon ourselves but always run away from the consequences it takes to have them wholeheartedly in their purest forms.
Why is the easiest route so appealing?
And why do we choose it but expect the same outcome and same feeling of accomplishment?
Things that come easy are of less value, less meaning and goes as easy as they come.
Notice that even when we have choices, the ultimate decision is rarely made wholeheartedly by you.
Remember to be selfish sometimes with these choices.
After all, it's your life and you facing the consequences, both good and bad.

Feelings… don't you wish you could turn then off sometimes?

Note: My lovely people. Thank you all for visiting my blog. I rant, I express and I moan but whatever I do, it's coming from deep within. Hope you are all well. Much love Tanny x

News & Updates: Artwork

Hi all, 
Hope everyone is doing okay and enjoying their morning, afternoon, evening or night.
This is just a quick update. I haven't been posting much blogs over the past month or so and here is why…

It's hard to be creative in times like these, but I have been doing a lot of painting and drawing. 

I will be posting them on my other blog at some point. www.ttizzlemedia.blogspot.com So keep an eye out for that. Actually, I recently gave that blog a make over, so please feel free to go have a look.

You find my artwork on my Facebook page for the time being

Just want to also take this time out to say thank you to everyone who has kept visiting my blog. I really appreciate it, truly appreciate it.

As I mentioned, it is very hard to stay creative at times for me because my mind goes into overdrive a lot and I can't write if I have a crowded mind. So, I turned to my first love, art. 

I really do hope you guys go check out my artwork. That would mean a lot to me and thanks in advance if you do.

I'll try to keep you all posted and if I am not here, I am over there on that Facebook link. And if I'm not in any of those places, bare with me as I find my way back.

Love you all. Tanny xx


Made You Think 101: Am I Okay?

ARGHHHHHHH!!!
When you have to suppress the urge to scream from the deepest depths of your lungs from fear of someone asking that question, 'are you okay'? 
When your inside is screaming so loud, you have to look around in panic that someone is actually hearing but you then breathe a sigh of relief and can't help feeling a tinge of sadness that none is actually paying you any attention.

Am I okay?

On the surface, my reply to that question is so robotic, almost like it is scripted that I hardly stop to take time out to actually reply honestly.

'Yes, I'm okay thanks' or 'Yes, I'm fine thanks'. 

But I am really okay?

No!

But I fear burdening someone with my troubles. I wouldn't want to burst any eardrums with the screams that are coming from my soul. So, replying without giving the question a second thought has become routined.

My soul is hungry and thirsty to fulfil it's true purpose, but I have no idea where to begin. It's such an excruciating feeling, feeling as though you know you should be doing more but not knowing how to take that first step.

Note: Hi all, hope you are all well and thanks for reading my posts. I think my frustration may have spilt out a little in this post but I just wanted to let you in on it. Love you all Tanny xx


What Is So Good?

Thoughts
The mind, the imagination...
Thoughts reciprocated in dreams
Slumber tucked imagination has no goal posts
Details as vivid as if they were real
Right down to the creases that formulate the lines in smirks
With eyes that convey the thoughts
Those thoughts 
…that travels through the body
To the tips of my nipples
Down the length of my spine 
I feel them like cold shivers
The pulsating between the gap that they are trying to force open
Wanting entrance to sacred places
Slave to the feeling, I cave under pressure
Passionless libidinous
Scarred by the scratches
Pleasure in pain, and vice se versa
Trembles from fear drenched delight
What is so good
… to be broken?

Note: Hope you like it. Much love, Tanny xx



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Conversations

I'm trying to get lit off the fire coming from your soul. High off our exchange of thoughts. And drunk off the natural flow of our words being merged together. You know, that chemistry?! Our reactions to sweet words tickling our eardrums, that causes the tugging at our lips. And formulates an uproar of joy from the depths of our diaphragms, as we search for a connection on all levels of human interaction.

Note: ~much love. Tanny x

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Secrets

It's okay if you whisper if your not comfortable talking aloud
Whisper in my ears and tell me how I get u aroused
Your secrets are safe with me
Just stop trying to hide them from me
The way your body unconsciously reacts tells no lies
The blushes on your cheeks and the smiles can't hide
The sneaky glances, where you have to force yourself to look away
The way you admitted that I brighten up your day
Or was that meant to be a secret?
There is only so long that you can keep it
Keep them hidden from my paths of my understanding 
Keep your face from not reacting
Hide the warmth that creeps up inside of you when you see
Deny the fact that you love it when my arms are wrapped around you
You love how secure I make you feel
I am no expert in the area of feelings, but I know when someone is trying to hide
I know when they are torn between their feelings and what is right
Having too much pride
Or maybe it's too little strength
To even consider how much their actions make sense
You don't understand why u feel that way because your mind don't want to
But a part of you want to
A part of you want explore the possibilities
A part you want to cancel out the 'what ifs'
But you won't let yourself...
... just admit it!

Note: I hope you like it. Much love. Tanny x

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Made You Think 101: Inspiration Vs Discouragement

Have you ever seen or came across something that inspired you, but discouraged you at the same time?
You might be thinking, what the heck am I talking about? 
So without further ado, let me explain…

Here's an example that I feel will explain or give you an idea of what I am talking about.

So, I hop onto Facebook, and I start scrolling. I see a few things that make me question humanity, I see others that make me tickle and then I see things that I love envy; these are mainly artwork or hair styles. 
The other day I was browsing and I seen some artwork that, discouraged me but inspired me at the same time. 


Taken from Google: 

Discouraged- having lost confidence or enthusiasm; disheartened.

Inspired- of extraordinary quality, as if arising from some external creative impulse.


These artworks made me lose confidence in my own ability but at the same time I instantly gained an impulse to want to create something as good or even better than what I saw.
I love these moments, because, although I am left questioning my ability, I also get the urge to go paint or draw and prove to myself that I can do it. Usually, I am reminded that I am blessed and have been blessed with multiple talents. But, it is also a reminder that I am not doing as much with the talents that I do have and perhaps it shines light on the lack of confidence I have in myself.

I love seeing what others create and the extraordinary things that gets poured out of people's souls onto canvasses or into words or any other art form. I just look on or listen in awe, thinking I wish I could do that and be as good.
Truth is, I don't even think I have found myself creatively yet. I love exploring different art forms and trying my hands at different things but I honestly don't feel as though I have pinnacled in any as of yet. I am still on the journey towards my pinnacle and I have no idea what is in store for me on that part, I just go with whatever my heart and gut feeling is.
I will be posting artwork on my sister blog T.TizzleMedia, so you can go check it out if you are interested, thanks.

To round up this post, I just want to say, sometimes we just need reminders of how awesome we are and what we can achieve. And even though they might knock our confidence in ourselves at times, that little discouragement may be the inspiration you need to realise your potential.
Well, that is my take on it anyways.

Note: Hi, hope you are all well and hope you all have a blessed week. Much love, Tanny. xx


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Rounds

Let me paint a picture for you
The mise en scene
Low key bad girl
With those hidden curves
The type that you'll walk by cause she's not in tight clothes... or showing skin
Zoning
We don't usually dabble in this secular lifestyle
But tonight I want us to drink and get high
So high that our movements become unconscious
Just the two of us wrapped in the moment
Let that passion consume us
Cause when we are grounded we have too much time to talk ourselves out of doing what we really feel
Let the zone set the tone for a night with no limits, free
I can't tell you how long my soul has been waiting for this
Skin to skin, heat so high feels like we are saunaing
Care to make it interesting?
Lets see how long we can go
Before we past out or before we run out of glow
Mindless, driven my desire
Beautiful bite bruises, hickeys
In places you only dreamt of
Lets play out those imaginary scenes in this night
The ones that you kept in your thoughts hoping one day that you might
Tongue teasing, licks so precise
Sweat drench from pleasure
We have to pause to catch our breaths before round 2,
3, 4,
More moans and groans
Devilish smiles cause we reached that spot
Trembles, scratches, eyes rolled all the back
Telling me you want more of this and way more of that
Slaves to each others bodies
In search of that feeling of bliss
Arches have never looked as sexy as this
Freedom of touch, so we don't hold back 
The liquor talking when the positions start to get adventurous... Seesaw
That zone is for real when we get deeper into the night
Unaware of time, just know its time to change position
Add a prop in, aphrodisiac
Strawberries. Excitement flashing in your eyes
Navels are perfect for a top-up on shots to re-energise  
Tastes leaving cravings for more 
Round 5, 6, 
Surely, we can't keep going like this
You say you want to make it to round 10
Smirks with determination to reach our goal, we go again
We light up, sip some more and add more props in
Moans and groans get louder
As our bodies peak
Burnt out by desire, we lay weak
Spooned, realising we may have to continue later
This sweet, sweet, intoxicating pleasure
Soul satisfied... 
Until the next round of rounds
Tranquil smile plastered faces, absolutely content
We were drawn into a slumber with a clear conscience


Note: I was listening to some music and this came to me. I don't really know what I think of it, but I am just sharing it with you all. Much love. Tanny xx


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Made You Think 101: Call It Quits

When do you call it quits?

How many times do you have to fail before you say enough is enough?

Maybe I have touched on this topic a bit before but today the thought ran across my mind about how stubborn I am when it comes onto calling it quits, on people especially.
By nature, I tend to try and try again, as well all do, but even if I am hurting, I will keep going. If a small part of me has hope that something will change for the better, I will keep trying and trying.

There are many success stories that hold perserverance at the heart of their sucesses. 
So, does that ultimately mean that there is no limit as to when you can call it quits because we don't know if success is around the corner.
For example, we might choose to give up today, but if we had waited till tommorrow, success would be there awaiting us. Or would it?
It is a cycle. 
We tell ourselves that we can't give up, knowing that we have to cross path with success someday. But we have no idea when that day is. All we know is that we can't give up. So we keep going, working harder and harder, with no sign of success in sight.

So.... What do we hold on to?

We hold on to hope! The slight possibility that there has to be a better way.
We have faith in the belief that, maybe just one more try will do it.
And we keep going...

But... When do you call it quits?

My secret is, I never call it quits. I might stop trying a little, or maybe even a lot but these situations are stored away somewhere within me. And maybe even after years of not trying, especially with people, I might just drop them a casual 'Hi'. 
Or if it is a task of some kind, I'll leave it for a bit then revisit it.
If people or situations tug at your heart and you seem to not be going anywhere with them, maybe you are not meant to at this moment in time. But they were just introduced to you to teach you something and will be re-inroduced back when you have learnt that lesson completely.
Maybe? It's just a thought, but who knows?...

However, when facing the decision to call it quits or persevere on...

First, ask yourself...
How bad do you want it?
How hard are you willing to work for it?
How will you benefit from it?
And how passionate are you about it?

Then maybe you can start to gage when enough is enough, if ever.

Note: Hope you are all doing well? Thanks for sticking with me. Much love. Tanny xx


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All content on this blog are the property of the author, TannyTizzle and may not be copied, reproduced, distributed or displayed without TannyTizzle's permission.

 All poetry registered with Copyright House